Who Knew? Read online

  Jack Cooper’s

  WHO

  KNEW?!

  Unusual Stories in Jewish History

  To my wife, Shayne,

  my partner and friend for over fifty years and counting.

  Contents

  Foreword

  Preface

  NEAR EAST: Early Times

  ...a biblical mistranslation gave horns to Jews

  ...Scriptural narratives added words to the English language

  ...a person’s name is a mirror to his soul

  ...Friday-night challah is reminiscent of a pagan custom

  ...Yom Kippur was a day of fasting, prayer, and courtship

  ...there was a synagogue inside the Temple in Jerusalem

  ...the ritual murder slander against Jews is a pre-Christian concept

  ...there is a Cairo-based Purim

  ...Hellenist Jews caused outlawing of Judaism

  ...a Jewish author’s work was set to music in many churches

  ...a devout pagan tried to rebuild the Temple in Jerusalem

  ...Jewish blacksmiths were blamed for insanity

  ...Jewish women’s lib is two thousand years old

  WESTERN EUROPE: Trying to Fit In

  ...Jews of Spain were expelled at least four times

  ...Christian laws gave new meaning to a Jewish prayer

  ...Charlemagne changed the market day so Jews could trade

  ...a Jew commanded a Muslim army

  ...Henry IV defied the pope to help the Jews

  ...Rashi was a lexicographer, divorce lawyer, and a commentator

  ...a Christian king sent Jews back to Judaism

  ...a French king expelled the Jews – and then wanted them back

  ...the illegal immigrant doctor brought his own minyan

  ...Jews were only expelled if the balance sheet agreed

  ...Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales could be outlawed today as hate speech

  ...Church ritual copies heavily from the Jews

  ...Jewish rituals limited Jewish deaths during the Black Plague

  ...during the Black Plague, killing Jews cancelled Christian debts

  ...Portuguese bigotry was repaid by Jewish kindness

  ...Spanish and Portuguese explorations were made possible by Jews

  ...a Jewish astronomer’s charts saved Columbus and his crew

  ...Christopher Columbus may have been Jewish

  ...Renaissance Brits harbored some strange views of Jews

  ...Henry VIII sought Jewish scriptural opinions in his divorce

  ...not all Jewish captives wanted to be freed

  ...The Merchant of Venice mirrors Christian views

  ...Shakespeare plagiarized The Merchant of Venice

  ...a non-Jew was jailed for keeping the Sabbath and not eating pork

  ...French anti-Semitism created great Jewish bankers

  ...Spinoza was first offered a pension, then excommunicated

  ...a fictional character dominated parliamentary debate in 1753

  ...a decision not to expel the Jews led to an increase in lip reading

  ...Napoleon convened a Sanhedrin

  ...an essay contest hastened the emancipation of French Jews

  ...French Jews gave aristocratic dowries

  ...French Jews urged repeal of their own voting rights

  ...Karl Marx’s anti-Semitism hurt the communist cause

  ...two Jews bought the Suez Canal for England

  ...Chaim Weizmann retained an anti-Semitic nurse for his children

  ...Chaim Weizmann foresaw the Holocaust and the Jewish state

  CENTRAL EUROPE AND THE EAST: The Unwanted Diaspora

  ...Jewish traders kept Christians and Muslims in business

  ...crusades spawned a “protection racket” against Jews

  ...Jewish money helped finance the crusades

  ...Jews were instrumental in spreading the Renaissance

  ...Renaissance Jews were renowned dancing masters

  ...Jews deliberately invited the Inquisition to censor their books

  ...a woman with marital problems needs a cantor

  ...Maimonides practiced medicine lying down

  ...there was a Golden Age for Jews in Lithuania

  ...kosher slaughter was a capital offense

  ...Torah reading was interrupted for adjudicating a grievance

  ...the story of Faust has virulently anti-Semitic origins

  ...a Christian scholar saved the Talmud from a book-burning Jew

  ...burghers of Cracow posted a bond against violence toward Jews

  ...a “bobe mayse” is not an old wives’ tale

  ...A Jewish graduate has to pay for uninvited guests

  ...copyright infringers on Jewish books faced snakes, not lawyers

  ...Jews voted themselves out of a job

  ...missionaries were one book short of converting all the Jews

  ...government-fixed prices designed to hurt Jews actually helped

  ...Christian prophecy promoted a Jewish false Messiah

  ...a Jewish woman claimed the ability to deflect bullets

  ...Lithuanian Jews had a national council just to redeem captives

  ...when Jews are expelled the economy suffers

  ...coins and pogroms helped propel the Rothschild fortune

  ...if you talk during services, you will pay a fine

  ...Goethe had to hire a Christian to teach him Yiddish

  ...Felix Mendelssohn was Jewish until he sang a Christian song

  ...if you are a prostitute, you can stay

  ...Jewish soldiers might have to serve for thirty-one years

  ...the House of Rothschild made a bad investment

  ...converts from Judaism still made contributions to their people

  ...Freud was a staunch Jew but had strange ideas about Judaism

  ...the Madonna hung out with Lithuanian Jews

  ...one anti-Semitic writer could have so many editors

  ...a Jewish banker helped establish the German Empire

  ...Rasputin had a Jewish business manager

  ...an anti-Semitic Jew coined the word anti-Semitism

  ...Wagner hated Jews but he needed one named Hermann Levi

  ...a Chinese shopkeeper priced his goods in Hebrew

  ...Jews were too intelligent to be tolerated

  ...In czarist Russia, Jewish families had only one son

  ...Jews kept British and German guns firing in World War I

  ...Jews had German army helmets engraved on their tombstones

  ...you can pay for it, but you can’t use it

  ...selling a birthright could be a good thing

  ...Albert Einstein was a poor student

  ...Albert Einstein used his fame to benefit the Berlin poor

  ...Albert Einstein was helped by other brilliant Jewish minds

  HOLOCAUST: Perpetrators, Bystanders, Rescuers

  ...Jews became anti-Semites to prove they were Germans first

  ...IBM helped Nazis find and keep track of Jews

  ...fifteen thousand Jews couldn’t be right

  ...France had concentration camps before Hitler came to power

  ...the United States War College taught Nazism before Hitler

  ...US immigration laws doomed six million Jews

  ...a Jewish athlete helped Nazi Germany get the Olympic Games

  ...a Jewish athlete represented Nazi Germany

  ...the Jewish catcher was also a spy

  ...Germany’s best high jumper didn’t get to jump

  ...a Jew saved Winston Churchill’s political career

  ...206,000 Jewish soldiers fought for Hitler

  ...Germany honored Moses Mendelssohn – 200 years too late

  ...Hitler promoted part-Jews to Aryan status


  ...Mussolini’s Italians did not make very good Nazis

  ...German soldiers rescued the Lubavitcher Rebbe

  ...a Japanese diplomat sacrificed his career to save Jews

  ...a German general court-martialed SS killers

  ...a Jew made possible US help to Britain at the start of World War II

  ...only Christians could get visas during the war

  ...Adolf Eichmann helped rescue some Jews

  ...Hitler couldn’t pass the Aryan test

  ...saving Jews cost a US diplomat his job

  ...German scientists had to “Aryanize” Einstein’s physics

  ...hunted Jews took refuge on the Riviera

  ...World War II Jewish GIs had more than one Jewish reason to fight

  ...Japan couldn’t build a bomb because Germany’s Jews were gone

  ...mothers can either help or kill

  ...coded letters leaked word of the Holocaust

  ...beets, dumplings, and fine linen can be lethal

  ...a conference to save Jews was held to do nothing

  ...famous architecture is worth more than human lives

  ...Holocaust mentality took German lives

  ...Jews were forced to counterfeit Allied currency

  ...Russian Jews were unfit to live but too valuable to be killed

  ...murdered Jews’ assets are a bigger prize than Jews themselves

  ...the American atomic bomb was a largely Jewish project

  ...a German ally saved most of its Jews

  ...Roosevelt sympathized with Nazi resentment of Jewish success

  ...Jewish musicians helped demoralize German soldiers

  ...England wouldn’t let Jews fight the Nazis

  ...Wallenberg swam the icy Danube to rescue Jews

  ...Heinrich Himmler saved Jews at the end of the war

  ...Jewish death squads stalked Nazis

  ...non-Jewish GIs attended Yom Kippur services

  ...kosher is not always kosher

  ...the Jews meant more to the German leader than to the American

  ...Jews laundered money for the cardinal

  ...anniversary flowers sealed Adolf Eichmann’s fate

  AMERICA: Finding a Home and Contributing

  ...Yuchi Indians celebrated the Feast of Tabernacles (Sukkot)

  ...Puritans relived the Israelite experience

  ...a doctor healed the colony and the Jews could stay

  ...a Revolutionary War pirate was president of his synagogue

  ...a Jew helped the American revolutionaries defeat the British

  ...a famous quote of George Washington’s came from a rabbi

  ...Benjamin Franklin donated to a synagogue building fund

  ...obeying a biblical law saved the life of a slave owner

  ...a Jewish naval officer tried NOT to shoot his enemy in a duel

  ...the navy hated the sailor but presidents loved him

  ...Chapman Levy helped Andrew Jackson crush nullification

  ...a Jewish family’s good deeds were as important as Gettysburg

  ...an anonymous Jewish donation helped shorten the Civil War

  ...Yale University’s emblem and motto are Jewish in origin

  ...a soldier’s heroism spawned a word

  ...a Jewish woman ran a Jewish school using a Christian Bible

  ...the pants were Levi’s

  ...a Jew rode with abolitionist John Brown

  ...a Jew ran the Civil War for the South

  ...Ulysses S. Grant did teshuva (repentance)

  ...Jews make great Indian fighters

  ...the New York Times cut its price to one cent and made millions

  ...a Jew improved what Edison and Bell invented

  ...a Jew became an Indian chief

  ...paying debts can pay off big

  ...the Guggenheims proved that fair play is good business

  ...Guggenheim thought of the New Deal twenty years before Roosevelt

  ...Jews were heavily involved in prostitution

  ...entering the wrong door can change a life

  ...Harry Kane was a minor-league sensation but a major-league flop

  ...a Jewish girl went into business in order to buy a blouse

  ...a Jew put the brakes on Ford

  ...Jews are probably the most assimilated group in the world

  ...Brandeis was great because he was a Jew

  ...Roosevelt’s opponents called the New Deal “the Jew Deal”

  ...a kosher chicken killed part of Roosevelt’s New Deal

  ISRAEL: Building and Defending a Nation

  ...Jews developed Palestine for Arabs

  ...Jews of Palestine denounced Jews in the British army

  ...one preposition cost Israel most of its territory

  ...a Zionist Jew appointed a Nazi to high office

  ...a Jew saved Czechoslovakia and Czechoslovakia saved Israel

  ...British interference continued after their Palestine Mandate ended

  ...Zionists had to be resourceful to get UN votes for partition

  ...a Swedish housewife made sure Israel got its machine gun

  ...a film about New Zealand pilots helped Israel win a war

  ...the Syrians lost the same cargo twice

  ...the Israelis sank their own ship

  ...the jailer asked the prisoner for a character reference

  ...a tank driver’s poor English lost Jerusalem for the Israelis

  ...Arab leaders admit that they created the refugee problem

  ...Israel limited immigration of Jews

  ...Soviets gave Jewish jobs to Muslims

  ...Israelis look like Norwegians

  ...Romania sold Jews to Israel for three thousand dollars each

  ...Israeli intelligence helped win the Six-Day War

  ...Yasser Arafat was a KGB creation

  ...Jewish immigration to Palestine was good for Arabs

  ...Alexander Haig saved Israel in 1973

  ...Israel saved Anwar Sadat’s life

  Bibliography

  Foreword

  This fascinating book by Jack Cooper points out to the reader the lesson that history is made by people, their heroism, foibles, vision and pettiness. There are also many “accidental” events, unplanned and unforeseen, which have almost cosmic consequences in the human story of events and personages. Thus history provides a fascinating patchwork of events and personalities that leaves all later generations to ponder and study.

  This book deals mainly with the wondrous story of the Jewish people and of its events. It contains hundreds of facts and anecdotes, some tragic, some hilarious, some fateful and some seemingly unimportant if yet fascinating, that have helped make up the story of the Jews in world history. These facts are the pepper and spice that enliven the story of history which unfortunately when reduced to pure facts and dates can be very boring. Jewish history is always a revelation of the unseen role of the Creator in preserving the Jewish people against all natural odds. But even if the script is divinely inspired, the actors in the play of history are all human. They are the instruments through which the divine plan is somehow executed. The stories in this book prove this point in a very interesting and satisfactory manner.

  Throughout history, Jews have had to live by their wits and perseverance, almost always being engulfed in a very hostile environment. These stories point out to the reader the many different mechanisms used by Jews to survive and even attempt to prosper. It was and is a slippery slope that Jews individually – and the Jewish people generally – have to traverse in this world. Even though many of the stories recorded in this book may at first glance appear to be minor in importance, the overall import and message of the book is very important and major. After reading this book the reader will have a different view and understanding of Jewish history and its twists and turns over the ages. The book combines entertaining reading, fascinating detail, and a sense of awe and inspiration regarding its subject matter. Enjoy reading this book; it
will at the same time make you a better-informed person about the Jewish story.

  Rabbi Berel Wein

  Jerusalem

  August 2008

  Menachem Av 5768

  Preface

  In preparation for compiling these unusual stories, I have amassed a library of over a hundred books on Jewish history and read thousands of pages about a people that continually defies historical patterns of nations. Mark Twain summed up the indomitable spirit of the Jewish people when he wrote in Harper’s Magazine, September 1899:

  If the statistics are right, the Jews constitute but one per cent. of the human race. It suggests a nebulous dim puff of star-dust lost in the blaze of the Milky Way. Properly the Jew ought hardly to be heard of; but he is heard of, has always been heard of. He is as prominent on the planet as any other people, and his commercial importance is extravagantly out of proportion to the smallness of his bulk. His contributions to the world’s list of great names in literature, science, art, music, finance, medicine, and abstruse learning are also away out of proportion to the weakness of his numbers. He has made a marvelous fight in this world, in all the ages; and has done it with his hands tied behind him. He could be vain of himself, and be excused for it. The Egyptian, the Babylonian, and the Persian rose, filled the planet with sound and splendor, then faded to dream-stuff and passed away; the Greek and the Roman followed, and made a vast noise, and they are gone; other peoples have sprung up and held their torch high for a time, but it burned out, and they sit in twilight now, or have vanished. The Jew saw them all, beat them all, and is now what he always was, exhibiting no decadence, no infirmities of age, no weakening of his parts, no slowing of his energies, no dulling of his alert and aggressive mind. All things are mortal but the Jew; all other forces pass, but he remains. What is the secret of his immortality?1

  The irony behind Twain’s poignant words lies in the fact that Twain himself was no real friend of the Jews. But this is typical throughout my readings and evident in many of the stories that follow. The overriding theme that impressed itself on my mind in writing this book may be summed up in one word: intolerance. Many of the stories in this volume will deal with the efforts of Jewish men and women to overcome the obstacles put in their way and even just to stay alive. That they have been so successful in their endeavors can be attributed to the high level of intelligence and energy that they have applied to overcoming these man-made difficulties.

  Other stories deal with Jewish responses to everyday situations in an atmosphere of relative freedom. The reader will be amazed at how, given freedom to function, Jews have scaled great heights in politics, business, and the professions.